Yogi Sylvain
Time
--- 7 Minutes --- Baby Part
I --- Baby Part II
Dad --- Scary --- Memory
--- Poems ---Good
News
Good News, Bad News
July 29th, 2002
I've got some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is that 9 miners got trapped in a flooded mine for 3 days.
The good news is that they all got rescued! The good news is that the
Stock market was up over 400 points today! The bad news is that it's down
over 2000 points from a year ago. The good news is that the U.S.A won
the cold war and we are effectively the world's only superpower. The bad
news is that the U.S.A won the cold war and we are now the world's biggest
target.
The bad news is that we are all going to die someday.
The good news is that we're alive today.
I love saying I have some good news and some bad news because it's like
a mini story. It has pathos and conflict and tension with the promise
of a big payoff at the end. A lot of time I say "I've got some good news
and some bad news" even when I only have one or the other. Makes it more
exciting.
But there is always good news and bad news no matter what. If life is
especially sweet at some point in time, say like right now while you are
all listening to me. I know you are sitting there in rapt bliss thinking
that this is the best essay you have ever heard in your life. But there's
always a flipside, there's always a shadow, there's always another shoe.
In this case the bad news is that sometime about 5 minutes in the future
this time of milk and honey will end and I will stop talking.
I know it's rough but that's the way life is.
On the other hand there is always a silver lining. If you can't stand
a performance here at ten tops you can take solace in the fact that it
will end. If you're whole life is a horrifying blur of emotional and physical
pain at least you can look forward to the sweet release of death someday.
Perhaps I'm overstating my case. Or maybe understating it. Or maybe I
don't have a case.
Here's the thing. When you become a parent, which I recently did, you
live in a new world of extremes that, from what I understand, you never
ever get out of. Being a father is really really great. My little boy
brings me a huge boatload of joy every single day. I am sure that I am
not unique in this. Parents always say this kind of sappy stuff and until
you actually become one you don't know (or care really) what the heck
they are talking about. But trust me okay. Kids are little happiness factories.
The bad news is…if you have any imagination at all you spend most of it
thinking up various catastrophes that could, at any time, snatch every
shred of joy from your life. I don't dwell on these things but they just
naturally pop into my mind. For superstitious reasons I don't want to
mention any of the dozens of horrifying scenarios that leap to mind at
anyone time but if we all just take a moment and think I'm sure we can
all get on the same page pretty quickly.
Ready, close your eyes. Got it? Okay lets move on.
So add to these admittedly unlikely nightmarish occurrences the nasty
things that are almost certain to happen like ear infections, overpriced
sneakers, terrorist nuclear attacks and puberty and you can see why parents
live in a world of fear.
But see in that world of fear is an island of joy. And a big part of the
reason that the joy is so sweet is that you can imagine the worst and
you notice that it's not happening….at the moment.
And of course it's not just parents that feel this way. It's everyone.
When you know how bad things can be you appreciate the good all the more.
That's why immigrants often appreciate this country more than native born
folk. They know what freedom actually is because they know what it isn't.
For those of us who have been here all along liberty is like water to
fishes. We don't notice. Nor do we notice plenty or justice or peace unless
we suddenly don't have it.
And it's like that with everything. The really, really rich people that
I've known, and I've know a few, are bored and unhappy because they don't
have to do anything. Those of us who have had to work to make rent money
or food money or sneaker money would be SO HAPPY if we didn't have to
do anything. I recently had a really bad cold and when I got well it felt
SO GOOD to feel normal again I almost was happy that I was sick.
Almost.
But it's really true, I think. We notice the good in relation to the bad
and if there is no bad then we don't notice the good.
I don't wanna get all polyannish on you now. We don't notice the good
because good is relatively normal and the good won't sneak into our cave
and eat us like a bad bad sabertoothed tiger will. There's no evolutionary
reward for noticing the good and besides it's kind of boring. I find bitching
and moaning much more entertaining than looking on the bright side. Have
you ever met anyone who just remarked on all the good stuff that was going
on all the time.
Wow. Look. A roof over our heads. And electric lights. And a nicely painted
stage. And soft seats. And I have five fingers on each hand. Including
an opposable thumb. Look at that! Whodathunkit!
That kind of pap doesn't make you feel good. What makes you feel good
is to think about all the terrible things that aren't happening. What
makes you feel really good is not to think "Hey I'm alive!" but to think
"Hey! I'm not dead!" Light without darkness is boring. Light without darkness
is just noon. Light peeking through the darkness is beautiful. Light and
darkness is sunset, and sunrise.
So the good news is that there is bad news or there will be or there has
been. The bad news is that if there was no bad news we wouldn't appreciate
the good news.
So go out there and look at the sky and breath the air and thank your
lucky stars that you aren't in Afganistan or Bakersfield or floating in
the liquid atmosphere of Jupiter. Just be happy you weren't born with
a third eye or if you were be happy you weren't born with a fourth.
Just be happy because it could be worse. And if it couldn't be worse it
has to get better.